Thursday, October 12, 2006
Loneliness
05 October 2006
All of you who know me know that I’m a very social person. I thrive off of company. This is not to say that I don’t like to be alone but in order to feel whole I like to have good friends around me. So far being in Mozambique has been hard because there is a unspoken separation between me and my Mozambican colleagues. Part of it is that life here is very hierarchical. Being treated deferentially does not make a good environment for friendship. Granted, I’ve only been here two weeks but it is strikingly different that any other situation that I’ve lived in. I’m used to making friends easily and being equals with those friends no matter the difference in our education, income etc. but here I feel more like an outsider gazing into the world more than anywhere else.
Part of the issue is that Mark and Wendy were here and I got rides, went to dinner, and hung out with them. This was great and they are really fun, hilarious, wonderful people. But they left today. Mark went back to Seattle and Wendy went to South Africa (albeit only for the weekend). So it has really been only half a day that I’ve been rattling around in this Guest House alone. But it’s funny how loneliness hits you in the pit of the stomach like a sucking wound. I think I would take any knee injury over that feeling. Don’t worry…I’m just waxing sentimental and I’ll make friends and all of this will pass but it makes you appreciate the friendships you do have. It also makes you appreciate internet access, telephones, and all the ways that I know I could chat with people if I spent enough money and time seeking out ways to do it. I also need to get off my ass and start figuring out how to make friends here. It will be a challenge but you all know how I love challenges. So if you go out to dinner tonight raise a beer to me please and wish me luck in making friends and know that I appreciate all of you!!!
All of you who know me know that I’m a very social person. I thrive off of company. This is not to say that I don’t like to be alone but in order to feel whole I like to have good friends around me. So far being in Mozambique has been hard because there is a unspoken separation between me and my Mozambican colleagues. Part of it is that life here is very hierarchical. Being treated deferentially does not make a good environment for friendship. Granted, I’ve only been here two weeks but it is strikingly different that any other situation that I’ve lived in. I’m used to making friends easily and being equals with those friends no matter the difference in our education, income etc. but here I feel more like an outsider gazing into the world more than anywhere else.
Part of the issue is that Mark and Wendy were here and I got rides, went to dinner, and hung out with them. This was great and they are really fun, hilarious, wonderful people. But they left today. Mark went back to Seattle and Wendy went to South Africa (albeit only for the weekend). So it has really been only half a day that I’ve been rattling around in this Guest House alone. But it’s funny how loneliness hits you in the pit of the stomach like a sucking wound. I think I would take any knee injury over that feeling. Don’t worry…I’m just waxing sentimental and I’ll make friends and all of this will pass but it makes you appreciate the friendships you do have. It also makes you appreciate internet access, telephones, and all the ways that I know I could chat with people if I spent enough money and time seeking out ways to do it. I also need to get off my ass and start figuring out how to make friends here. It will be a challenge but you all know how I love challenges. So if you go out to dinner tonight raise a beer to me please and wish me luck in making friends and know that I appreciate all of you!!!
# posted by Molly Louise @ 5:33 PM 
