Sunday, September 24, 2006
My Audrey Hepburn Pornos
I have forgotten to post my favorite part about passing through customs in Beira. So let me set up the scene. Here I was arriving with two suitcases, a carry-on bag and a backpack that contained two laptops, one of which I probably should not have been bringing into the country. Plus I had various other electronic things in my backpack that I could have to pay a bribe to get in the country. So…needless to say I’m a little nervous as I roll my first suitcase over to the table to be inspected.
The customs agents looks at my stuff. I had put all my clothes in giant zip lock bags to make packing easier. He takes this as a sign of new things (for which I would have to pay a fee). So I happily take out my ratty clothes and show him that they are really not very new at all.
On to the next bag (which means the backpack is getting closer to inspection and I’m getting more nervous). I open it up and he pulls out the still wrapped package of movies that I bought at Costco. My friend Ana, who’s house I’m staying in right now, asked me to bring DVD’s for those nights when there is nothing to do. I’m not good at figuring out good movies so I went to Costco before I left and sat on the phone with Kate giving her my options and seeking her advice. She advised me to go with the Audrey Hepburn package of four movies.
Ok...so he pulls out the Hepburn movies...here is how the conversation went:
Custom’s Agent: These are pornos
Me: no, no they're not pornos they're classic American movies
CA: they’re pornos
Me: no they really aren’t pornos…see they're classics, old movies.
CA: open this package!! (I opened the DVD box and he pulls out all the movies) these are pornos!!
Me: (laughing at this point) no they really aren’t
CA: open up the packages. I think that the movies in here are not the same as on the front (I’m thinking…yeah that’s why they were still in their packaging, in the US they sell pornos disguised as American Classics)
Me: See the titles are the same
The Customs agent was getting more and more agitated through this whole process and finally, when it was clear they were not pornos, walked away in disgust. I stood there thinking he was going to come back when he turned around and waved me through. I gathered up my bags and my backpack and thanked Audrey Hepburn, the porno star, for getting me through customs without having to pay any bribes!!!!!!!
The customs agents looks at my stuff. I had put all my clothes in giant zip lock bags to make packing easier. He takes this as a sign of new things (for which I would have to pay a fee). So I happily take out my ratty clothes and show him that they are really not very new at all.
On to the next bag (which means the backpack is getting closer to inspection and I’m getting more nervous). I open it up and he pulls out the still wrapped package of movies that I bought at Costco. My friend Ana, who’s house I’m staying in right now, asked me to bring DVD’s for those nights when there is nothing to do. I’m not good at figuring out good movies so I went to Costco before I left and sat on the phone with Kate giving her my options and seeking her advice. She advised me to go with the Audrey Hepburn package of four movies.
Ok...so he pulls out the Hepburn movies...here is how the conversation went:
Custom’s Agent: These are pornos
Me: no, no they're not pornos they're classic American movies
CA: they’re pornos
Me: no they really aren’t pornos…see they're classics, old movies.
CA: open this package!! (I opened the DVD box and he pulls out all the movies) these are pornos!!
Me: (laughing at this point) no they really aren’t
CA: open up the packages. I think that the movies in here are not the same as on the front (I’m thinking…yeah that’s why they were still in their packaging, in the US they sell pornos disguised as American Classics)
Me: See the titles are the same
The Customs agent was getting more and more agitated through this whole process and finally, when it was clear they were not pornos, walked away in disgust. I stood there thinking he was going to come back when he turned around and waved me through. I gathered up my bags and my backpack and thanked Audrey Hepburn, the porno star, for getting me through customs without having to pay any bribes!!!!!!!
# posted by Molly Louise @ 6:23 PM 
